IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, describe what you feel to be the biggest obstacle in your relationship.

I look over at Bob, watching a trail of words spewing from his pen as it winds back and forth across the page, spelling out everything I’ve done wrong. I’m sure he’s over fifty words by now.

I look back at my answer sheet. I write one word: Fat.

I scribble it out.

Okay, I know I’m not being fair. He’s not obese or anything. But the last few times he’s tried to spoon in behind me on the couch, all I can feel are spongy folds of flab, and every month it seems his belly inches me that much closer to the edge. And the smell of him – it’s as if all the grease from every piece of bacon he’s stuffed in there over the past decade is trying to sweat its way out. Add to that his love of raw onions and, seriously, who could blame me for wanting separate bedrooms?

I wonder what he’s writing? Probably that I never make meatballs or ribs anymore since I turned vegetarian, or that I never want to have sex unless I’m drunk. He’d be right. On both counts. But he certainly doesn’t need the calories and, I’m sorry to say, I stopped being turned on by him about fifty pounds ago.

“That’s pretty shallow,” remarked the first marriage counsellor we saw.

“And hurtful,” Bob had added.

“Well, do you want the truth or not,” I’d asked before attempting to storm

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